The prologue of my blog states that I am the wife of a Methodist minister. I haven’t written a whole lot about myself in that role. I think because I am not a pastor’s wife in a traditional sense. I don’t sit in on committee meetings, I don’t volunteer to help at every event that happens at the church, I don’t expect to become the pianist at the church my husband is serving, I don’t take on the role of a “second” pastor so to speak. My role is definitely behind the scenes! I support Andrew in his calling. I lend an ear when it is needed at home, and I wild dogs could never drag anything from me! One of the more difficult things for me as a Methodist minister’s wife has been the building of relationships. It is very difficult to build friendships as a pastor’s wife! I may be incorrect, but I think about sixty percent of my problem in the area of building friendships is my own. I don’t have Andrew’s gift for never meeting a stranger, and I am very introverted. I enjoy spending time alone, and I have never had any trouble “entertaining” myself! However, that’s not to say that I don’t crave meaningful relationships. The other forty percent I think is because I am a pastor’s wife. Who wants to be friends with their pastor’s wife, right? However, I am human too! I have all the same struggles, problems, needs, and wants that others do. As a Methodist pastor’s wife we have moved a lot. It is hard to maintain even the best of friendships over long distance.
Though it has been difficult to build personal relationships, Andrew and I have both been blessed by the church communities where he has served! The generosity, kindness, thoughtfulness, prayers, and support of people has been at times over whelming! I don’t know what we would have done without certain people who took it upon themselves to go out of their way to help us when we needed it. We certainly have received many unexpected blessings!
In a few months the prologue of my blog will change from pastor’s wife to Army wife. Yes, you read that correctly! Andrew has been experiencing the call to serve as a chaplain for several years. We have been praying fervently about this decision over the past year. We have had some serious conversation, heart searching, and decision making over the past several months. It has been difficult, and still carries with it a lot of stress and anxiety about what the future looks like. We have always put our major decisions like this to the test. Taking gradual steps toward a goal and seeing if doors are opened so to speak. We have learned that if things fall in place for us that that is a good sign, and that it is the path God wants us to pursue. If things seem forced, or don’t happen, then we know it was our doing and not God’s will. So far the process to pursue candidacy as a chaplain in the U.S. Army has gone smoothly for Andrew and we believe this is God’s calling. A lot could still happen in between training and final orders, but otherwise we believe this is the path God is leading us on.
I have no idea what it means, or what it will look like to be an army wife! Other than by watching the ABC show Armywives. 🙂 I imagine in some ways it will be similar to being a civilian pastor’s wife, in that we will still move around, and Andrew will still be serving “the church” just in a different capacity. I still plan on playing the piano and teaching music where ever I go! We are enjoying virtual school at the moment, and so we may continue schooling this way for a while. There are just so many unknowns at the moment, and there in lies the source of anxiety for me. I like knowing!
The most difficult hurdle out of everything will be the absence of Andrew during training. (God forbid he be deployed at some point in the future! I don’t even like to let my mind go there!) He will be leaving for training at the end of January. He will be gone for twelve weeks! The most we have ever been apart from each other is two weeks! Not twelve! I am grateful we have technology that will still allows us to see and interact with him in his off hours, but let’s face it, it is going to suck! I will be a single mom, for twelve weeks! And that is not even the worst of it! I know it is going to be difficult being by myself with the kids (this is where family, friends, and church community are going to play an important role in my survival!), but what I really keep thinking about is that for twelve weeks we won’t be able to kiss! No sex for twelve weeks! (I bet you didn’t expect to hear that from a pastor’s wife!) It’s going to be —-!
I know this is a bit of an unusual blog post for me! I will try to keep them more normal over the next few months! 🙂 If you believe in prayer, please just keep us in them! As scary as things are right now, there is also an underlying excitement for the next chapter of life, and how it will unfold. We are also humbled and will be very proud to serve our country. I say we because while I may not be an official officer in the U.S. Army, I am unofficially enlisted! 🙂